It Started As A Game, Now I’m +90 Days Free (Marshall)
Tell us a little about yourself?
I’m a 40-year-old married man that struggled with porn.
Tell us about your struggle with acting out and what led you to seek transformation?
When I was around 13 or 14 I was asked to take care of a friend’s pets, while his family was on vacation. I found out his dad was very proud of his very large collection of Playboy magazines that dated back to at least the 70’s. He had the magazines all over his house. For the next 27 years, I was addicted to softcore porn that would escalate to hardcore and then go back to softcore. The whole time I was a Christian and went to church regularly. I regularly felt shame and disappointment in my inability to stop. I kept praying for a solution.
What were some of your low moments along the way?
I’ll never forget my honeymoon. I felt guilty about never telling my fiance about my struggle with porn. I decided I didn’t want to start my marriage with secrets so I told her on the drive to our honeymoon destination. She was very mad, made me pull over, and for at least 15 minutes screamed at me and refused to get back in the car.
What are some of the things that have helped you the most on your healing journey?
rTribe started off as a game/challenge. I knew cheating/lying would only be hurting me, so I vowed to be honest and if I looked at porn then I would check “yes I acted out”. I also started a Bible reading plan to read the whole Bible in a year. Whenever I was tempted I would remember to submit to God and resist the devil. I would also remember this app and how I would have to check yes and I didn’t want to do that. I still pray for a renewed mind and a clean heart every day.
What words can you offer those who are reading your story and feel stuck?
So many times I would have a good week with no porn, and then something sexy would be on t.v., billboards, theaters, or my computer and I would fall back down the rabbit hole. I would suggest you pray for God’s help (1st step would be accept Jesus as your savior if you haven’t already done that) and honestly check in daily at rTribe.
Marshall, Thank You for sharing. We appreciate the openness and thought you put into writing this down for others to learn from. It’s exciting to hear the level of commitment you have to being honest about your sobriety. Only honesty can lead you to freedom.
Alex, Josh & the rTribe Community
P.S. Want to share Your Freedom Story? We’d like to publish a new Freedom Story every week and if you have something you want to say to the entire Tribe, let us know.