Guides Are Essential
Isn’t it true that we often try harder and succeed more often when someone with experience is leading us?
Teachers, coaches, and mentors can all get us to our destinations more quickly than by ourselves.
Guides are essential in life. Especially, in recovery.
Yet, many people in recovery underutilize them. Why is that?
For one, it can be difficult to ask for help with such a personal issue.
Also, if you have been significantly hurt or let down by someone in the past it can make asking for help even more challenging.
Betrayal or abandonment by a parent can often be part of the making of an addict. So, the idea of asking for help from an authority figure can bring up fears of additional abandonment and betrayal.
If you can relate to those fears remember this old adage:
In relationship we are hurt; in relationship we are healed.
Having a guide is a way to repair the wounds of the past. It’s a way to realize that you can reach out for help and be heard.
If you can learn to reach out for help rather than go to porn, sex or a substance you will recover faster.
Now, that you know why guides are essential here’s what you should look for in a guide.
What To Look For In A Guide
If it’s a porn or sex addiction issue, then you want to talk to someone who has at least one year of sobriety from acting out.
In the 12 step tradition, these people are called “sponsors” and they have made it part of their calling in life to be recovery guides.
Your spiritual leader is also someone who can act as a recovery guide. However, I would recommend that you find a spiritual leader who has been in recovery or at least understands how addiction recovery works.
If they don’t have experience with addiction recovery, you can ask the if they would be willing to learn with you.
You can even recommend that they read some R|TRIBE articles like “5 Ways to Help An Addict.”
Where to Find Guides
For 12 Step Sponsors:
You can also check out your local church or religious center, where there may be a dedicated ministry for addiction issues. There, you may find religious leaders who can coach you on effective accountability.
Once you find your guide, ask them if you can sign them up to see your weekly progress report emailed to them from your R|TRIBE app.
Make sure you set the expectations of what you want them to do with the weekly update: do you want them to follow up with you, or is it enough just to know that they are receiving your updates for now?
Add a guide today to take your recovery to a whole new level.