What Are Powerful Questions?

What Are Powerful Questions? Tribers, One of the biggest ways you can help others is by learning to ask powerful questions. So often, we try to offer advice, try to reassure, compliment, or encourage from our own experience. These are all good things, in the right time and place. But when a friend is struggling, feeling stuck, or when they … Read More

I’m in Recovery, Why Can’t My Wife Just Move On?

Tribers, Kathy wrote a great article, with some good imagery, to help explain what someone may be experiencing after a traumatic event, whether it be the attack on the World Trade Center or a breach of a marital agreement.  She wraps up the article with some thoughts and guidance as to how to help someone through the experience, setting the … Read More

Are Women Safe in 12-Step Sexual Recovery Meetings*?

Are Women Safe in 12-Step Sexual Recovery Meetings*? By Staci Sprout   When I teach health care professionals about identifying and treating sex addiction, I am often asked the following questions about women and sexual recovery: What about female sex addicts? Should I refer women to 12-Step meetings for sex addiction? Won’t there be mostly men? Won’t there be sexual … Read More

Freedom Needs Food

Freedom Needs Food Without food we die. It’s the same with growing in your recovery. One meal won’t keep you alive.  The occasional snack may let you live but it’s only healthy eating that leads to a thriving physical life. You must eat regularly and healthily if you want to grow strong. Obvious, but something we so easily forget when … Read More

Healing Helps

Healing Helps Addiction thrives in isolation.  Secrets, pain, despair, hopelessness, and insanity thrive when we leave the tribe.  Or worse, when we didn’t know we belonged to a tribe. If you’ve experienced healing, you know healing happens in community. You belong to a tribe.  Your brain is wired for connection: to be in community with others. You will heal if … Read More

5 Things Addicts Should (& Shouldn’t) Say to Partners

5 Things Addicts Should (& Shouldn’t) Say to Partners by Vicki Tidwell Palmer, LCSW Working with partners and sex addicts over the past 9 years, I’ve been told, and witnessed, many examples of  successful—and less than successful—dialogues between addicts and partners. Successful couples’ conversations usually have the following characteristics: Listening with curiosity and openness Minimal defensiveness Willingness to attempt to understand the other person’s perspective … Read More

Hooked on porn, had to learn to fish.

Hooked on porn, had to Learn to fish. By Dave Barnette, originally published by The Washington Post   In the end, it was the girl across the street who understood the situation most clearly, the tiny one who dressed like a middle-aged Realtor and carefully studied my family’s demise. I was approaching 40, and the terms of my second marriage … Read More

What’s your Why

What’s your Why? Victor Frankl was a psychotherapist and Holocaust survivor who wrote a book about the experience called Man’s Search For Meaning.  If you have not read it yet, I highly recommend you do so.   Seeing what these men endured in the camps will certainly give perspective to anything we are encountering. In the book he talks about the … Read More

She Needs to Throw Rocks

She Needs to Throw Rocks By Eddie Capparucci, MA, LPC   One of the most tragic aspects of a sexual addiction is the emotional pain our insensitive and self-absorbed actions cause to our innocent partner. They are the unfortunate ones who get tangled in our web of deceit and are made to pay a large price for our destructive behavior. … Read More

Boredom & Breakthroughs

The Opportunity of Boredom You probably know this formula all too well: Boredom + distraction = Trouble. When we get bored it is our natural instinct to stop being bored and ask, what should I do? With that question, and without the proper vision, there’s chance for trouble. You see, boredom is one of the top triggers that is reported … Read More